Senin, 19 Agustus 2013

WRITING CHALLENGE DAY 6 : WRITE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE

Write About Your Feelings For Someone

Another challenge about express my feeling again? Well I think I started to understand why express your feeling is a challenge. Because not everyone can't do it. Not because they don't have any feelings, but simply not everyone understand about their feelings. Well maybe they knew it, but they are not sure about it. Because sometimes humans are contradictive. Such as they love you but they also fear about commitment, they are helping you, but they also complain when they helped you. Their head say yes but their heart say no. 

Okay back to topic, with who I must express my feeling, because the last time I told my parents about how I feel, they mocked me and told me my feeling is not important. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but sometimes I feel bitter about how they are treating me. If there is one thing I really need and want it from them is called understanding.

Since that I become a person who is trying to hide my feeling, even become emotional detachment. Because I learn if I trust people so easily, it can backfire me. I tend to be a loner, because when I'm alone, I can do what I want, I feel free, I even more productive. Don't get me wrong it doesn't mean I have problem to socialize. But I prefer a few friends rather than a lot of friends. My motto is more people are more problems. I don't like drama but it seems drama loves me :D

Back to topic, since the challenge must express my feelings to someone and so far I only express my feelings to everyone if they read my crappy writing through this, I guess I will pretend if I have a life mate. I don't want write soul mate because, well call me skeptical but life mate sounds more realistic rather than soul mate. But it doesn't mean I don't believe with soul mate, it juts maybe only one in a million of people who can find their soul mate.

Dear

I wish you stop possessive on me like try to control me
I hate when you try to control or dominate me
I know you just try to protect me
But I need a space too

Don't get me wrong, I like our time together
Our intimacy
I like when we cuddled each other on the sofa while we're watching mystery drama
I'm really enjoying when you flattered me, give me massage on my nape of neck
I love all your affection

And since you asked me to tell you about what I don't like from you, here
I don't like when I made mistake and apologized, you still lift up the problem
Everyone have their own past, no need to remind them again and again
I never declare my self as a saint or pure person, I'm just human, imperfect
So please don't push me to do something that I don't like
Also don't be rude on me because I will  do the same
I have intense reaction when it comes about emotion
And to be honest I don't like it
Because I know it will hurt you too
And i don't want to hurt you

And I need alone when I need to recharge my energies
Also I need your understanding about my hobbies, my desires, my insecurities
I ask no more
Thank you for your love and all the pleasure you gave me
In return I will be at your side, darling.

Full of Love
Your dearest one

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